I am asking myself the same question.... I guess I think that it will help me heal and in a way let go of some things that I have experienced and give me a chance to write about something and some people that I loved and at least at one time I thought I love. (????) Anyway so I hope that you will join me on this trip down the road that is my life and we will look through the window of my soul. I just want to talk about a love life, relationships, my destiny or fate I should say, as a mujeriego. What is a "mujeriego" ? Well basically its a guy that has a lot of girlfriends but he never settles down. He is in love with all of them, but there's always one more conquest that he is after. He is not a dog like everyone thinks, but more of a fantasy guy to more than one woman. I know what your thinking and no I won't be bragging about all the women that I have slept with, but more like explaining and getting some closure for myself and maybe those that read this story can add their comments or relate to going through something like this. That's why I named this "Heartbreak Confessions".
So this story actually starts of when I was 15, I remember reading Esquire magazines and seeing all the guys; so immaculate and suave, clean shaved or rough, dressed to kill or mellowed out somewhere exotic, always accompanied by a beautiful woman. I wished that I could be "that guy" and I spent a lot of nights wondering what it would be like to be "him". I never was a kid that got into "chick flicks", more concerned with a great action movie but "he" was there too... Who is this guy that girls swoon over, what makes him so special that they fall to their knees when he whispers into their ears ? What power does he possess that he is able to kiss a woman and she fades away like the cool breeze on a spring day ? I didn't know what it was but I knew that I wanted to have "it".
As I have grown older now (is 33 considered old ?) and after quite a few relationships, one-night stands , flings, and affairs, I understand now that it is being in love with "the idea of being in love" that has been my greatest asset and my biggest demise. The thought of having someone or meeting someone and having that instant attraction, a spark that starts a roaring flame that is unquenchable and unfortunately with me, unsustainable. "In love with the idea of being in love ?", that doesn't make any sense!!!!! Oh yes it does let me tell you, it happens everyday. Why do you think there are so many people that sign up for these dating sites, looking for boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, confidants, someone special to bring into their lives and share their love with? Ok, granted, we all at some time or another are like the guys on "Jersey Shore" and we want to "get it in". But is it really more to it ?
I think all of us want to be in a relationship that is healthy and satisfying for us, bring a little or a lot of passion out of us, to be kissed, caressed, hugged, and made love to that blows us away; It's only natural, after all we are sexual beings are we not ? So why is it that I wanted to be "him"? He seems so happy with the woman that he is with, and it always seems like the ending is happy.... Or is it ? The answer is never known, just like the relationships that we enter into in our lives , until it ends.
So why did you read this, is it because you just want to be a voyeur ? Or maybe, once upon a time you dreamt that you were a princess and that you were looking for your Prince Charming and this post made you think of those times. Maybe you are pissed off reading this and I have only confirmed the fear that you have that all men are dogs, who knows ? Maybe your thinking about an old boyfriend that you miss or don't miss. Or you could be a guy that wants to know the "secret" to "it". Well I hope that yyou find something in this post that reminds you just like it is reminding me. So the journey begins.......
